“I have come to terms with the fact that I will not see democracy in Egypt in my lifetime,” told me Egyptian publisher Hisham Kassem at the end of an interview for PBS’ World Focus in 2008.

I remembered those words as I heartily celebrated the fall of the regime in Tahrir Square on February 11th and I smiled to myself. I had come all the way from New York to be a part of the revolution, not expecting that the stubborn Egyptian President would step down while I was there.

“Why?” was the reaction I got when I told my friends and colleagues in the U.S. about my sudden decision to go to Egypt. Many assumed I was going as a reporter. I quickly and proudly responded that I was going as a “protester.”

Watching my country go through the upheaval on television screens was painful. Aspirations and enthusiasm were mixed with fear and concern for the future of Egypt and the safety of my family. The closest I got to being a part of it was by sharing with friends on Facebook. I was glued to the television and the computer for days on end. I ate little, slept little, worked little and spent little time with my two kids.

Every morning, before fully opening my eyes, I looked for the remote control and started searching frantically for a live picture of Tahrir Square, praying that it was still filled with large numbers of protesters. Thirteen mornings. Thirteen sighs of relief. I was never let down. My last one, on Tuesday February 8th, sealed it for me. I had to be there.

The night before, there were reports that numbers were dwindling. I watched pictures of Tahrir Square till late at night and was terrified that the end might be near. But the protesters, who had impressed the whole world with their courage and determination, managed to do it again and Tahrir Square looked magnificent the following morning.

It was a long shot, but I had to try. I quickly found a reasonably-priced ticket to Cairo, which was not difficult given that Egypt now wasn’t the hot tourist destination it usually is because of the unrest. I now had to convince my husband, which was challenging.

While many spouses might have objected to the trip based on safety or financial reasons, my husband was as supportive and passionate about the revolution, so we had a slightly different problem: he was jealous. “But I want to go,” he said. It was irresponsible for both of us to leave the children, so we decided I would go for four days and he would leave to Egypt a few hours after I return.

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